Abundant Life

My home church's Pastor, (Kessler) is going through the book of Colossians in morning worship...and it is wonderful. This is a link to one of the sermons on living alive to Christ seeking the things above.

http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?sermonID=51505224518
(On Colossians)

http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?currSection=sermonsspeaker&sermonID=51605224329 (On baptism and the covenant)

Life has been beautiful lately. Although tears have been shed...God is showing me more these past few weeks that the tougher the struggles or pain is the closer I must cling to obeying whatever He calls me to do...and finding my joy only in Him...because boy there is NO true joy apart from Him. I sometimes cannot believe how I could find other things to take the place of the eternal but I know that is just what my heart does as soon as I am not upheld by God's grace and power. I am completely dependant upon Him for strength to live in Him. He is my living head and Christ is now my life. I wish though that I more fully obeyed His new life...He is showing me through His Word and Spirit. It makes me sad when I think that I am not pleasing God fully. But then I remember that even that is a part of God's plan to show me my need of Him and my need to "work out my salvation" more and more living in His presence and remembering that I am united to Him!!

Last night something significant happened in my heart by God's work...My parents asked me to do two main things that I was not sure about...I felt that I was being forced to do things that I did not want to do when in reality it was my parent's wisdom and God's will that I submit in love and respect...regardless of how I felt in the matter. This issue was resolved by God just kinda reminding me that God has in a way spoken His will through my parent's authority...they are asking me to do something reasonable and within God's good plan of course. So God was like showing me that it was my own worldly styled form of rebelion to say that my parents could not tell me what to do. Then God gave my heart a sense of the sweetness of obeying my parents not because of my parents but because of love for God...implanted by the precious Holy Spirit! I was so overjoyed to find peace in my heart from God and joy also and an ability to delight in submitting to my parents. I was overawed at how when I finally was supernaturally (by grace!!) enabled to obey in love on these two issues it was like God just poured out joy and peace and His love. I was like God I knew I wanted to grow spiritually this summer but I didn't know that You would give me this HUGe trial in order to get me closer to You...I guess I should have expected that...shouldn't I have??!!" **Smile** But I must say that even though this particular trial was probably the most painful interpersonal trial I have been through in the past 10 years...it was so worth it for what God did through it. I am so thankful for God's guiding and overseeing all things for His good will. He truly knows what things will draw me to Himself. Over and over again during this trial I was like I can't go to my normal outlets...I could only go to God to let out my steam, pain, desire etc...Only.. And God was so faithful to give the strength to deal with my own anger, hurt and frustration as it surfaced...I knew so well that I could not bury it, that I had to deal with it by God's Word and Spirit...the hard but permanant way..the way that forces one to grow closer.

This past Sunday my pastor said and I quote "Why wouldn't man run towards the One who's essence is Love itself?" I ask myself that question and wonder at the lengths God has had to use to draw me to Himself...the lengths of love and mercy and absolute graceful severity. In order to give life to my dry bones and a heart of flesh to my heart of stone. The leopard has not changed her own spots the Creator has reclothed Her...remade her, now she is dressed in Christ's whiteness.

To God alone be all praise For He has done marvelous things. Like giving me a new heart and a love for Him to whom I formerly despised and rejected. The humbly beautiful Man of Sorrows.

DSC00966.JPG
Originally uploaded by viejagloria.

A waterfall in Iceland...

IMG_4026
Originally uploaded by sophware.

Kids are so cute....

God is so good. And I just needed to say it again. The sky was gorgeous today as I worked I looked out and saw the rolling billowing clouds and the sun streaking through them. While half were dark and were pouring torrents of rain it was glorious. I felt like I was in a Amazonian rainforest for 15 minutes during the intermittant storms. I let my customers know also. They were amused. :) It's fun to have fun with your customers...not monkeying around just being comfortable and not stiff with them. My aunt Michelle works there on Saturday's also so we had fun helping eachother out with ringing people up. We would go oooh ahhh over the good stuff people bought. Michelle just cracks me up...she is so lucid and just plain fun and funny. I am thankful for laughter and love and friendships....but most of all-ALL-ALL-for God-Who He is...how very gracious to us He is. His character is so wonderful!

Seeing the beauty over this spring has been highly refreshing even in the midst of stress and trials. God has been especially causing me to see how ALL my joy must flow from Him. Like seriously He took away my other sources of late. He in love is not allowing me to go to others or other things...they are empty of what my heart hungers for. I realize this as I check people out of my line at work and see people who hav all the world's sucess and what everyone thinks truly makes a person "happy" and then I look in their eyes and see that they are just like me and every other regular human being in that money, popularity and a nice body do not make you truly satisfied and happy it is only in delighting and knowing Christ that one is satisfied. Not to discount God's blessings but apart from a relationship to the Giver of them they are cheap trinkets that as Psalm 73 talks about truly do not fulfill. God gives men these things but they still go to the grave and then to a darker place still.

Oh, do I daily realize how much I have been given by God? It just amazes me when God shows me a lil. I need to look at the cross ALOT more. My life needs it as my center. That puts things in a beautiful perspective of humility and blessing in a relationship with Christ. The powerful yet humble King over all.

So with awe in my heart I am amazed at God's grace seeing He knows it all in my heart and does not give up on me He rather invites me to closer fellowship and says "come with me My beloved!"

That reminds me of the God-moment that occured yesterday while at work...as mentioned above it was a Psalm 73 thing in that I was like "God look at all these other people...they seem to have it good...then God broke through, and flooded my soul with the joy of my salvation...the remembrance of my eternal joy in God...the fact that God is my soul's good portion and that none on earth can take that away and that none can quench that need but Him! What a wondrous joy we have as Christ's followers in our salvation!! So He just fills us up with His goodness so that I am no longer able to be envious of those who are perishing..I need to be praying for and even more burdened for them to come to the light...they need the joy that lasts eternity and beyond...May we be lights in the darkness and salt that does not become worthlesss. God give us grace to be thus. It depends on You!

Originally uploaded by Jessi Joy.

From left to right, Sarah Christine, me and Charlie. Sarah and Charlie are married and S. and I are also Christine's bridesmaids. :~) I can't believe Christine is getting married! She told me before I went to college that I could not get married...I kept my end of the bargain so far...but she hasn't hehe...I forgive you Christine! I am so happy for you! Charlie the friend who was in my community college speech class and saw all that drama :~).

This poem struck me this morning with the beauty of the love of God that He gives us through the Spirit...and how we can have that love flow through us to the world...even in the tough times! That is how powerful God is!

"Love through me, love of God,

Make me like Thy clear air

Through which unhindered, colors pass

As though it were not there.


Powers of the Love of Good,

Depths of the heart Divine,

O love that faileth not, break forth,

And flood this world of Thine."

~Amy Carmichael from her book of poetry "IF"

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.

Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. (I totally know what there talking about here!Haha)

If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. (!)

Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. (!)

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. (details....in my predominantly left brained mind....who needs em? Well for one right brain people need them for sure. (as well as left to some degree) I am glad that there are right brained nurses and doctors who care alot about little details!

Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. (I loved speech class....does that count??)

If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. (ahhh..run as fast as you can!!)

Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. (Reading is good but conversing with people is even more fun to me....most of the time.)

The quiz showed that I am roughly 65% right brained and 35% left brained. Are You Right or Left Brained?

Originally uploaded by petitshoo.

I have been working 11-8 shift at Fresh Market. About the most interesting thing that happened today was that I rang up a local newscaster's groceries. And that one of the baggers/cashier in training wanted to arm wrestle me I refused to do so. My valid excuse was that a customer needed me to check his groceries out. Quite random I know. I think he was a lil bored. Things were kinda slow tonight.

Anyways around 8 when I got off work I stopped at the library to return a few CD's and browse their books and CD's of course. I picked up a book on the minor prophets for 50 cents that I am excited about reading. Then I found several of my favorite CD's from last summer. Out of the Grey and an interesting CD entitled Zero Church...just to let you know I def. don't endorse all of the stuff in the CD, Some of the prayers are very good. As always discernment is needed.

There are several songs on the CD that have both provoked deeper reflection and are simply beautiful in their own right and genre. The CD is a compilation of many "prayers" from many different people...some true Christians others not. So it is clear that some of the prayers are not theologically correct or even true prayers at all but a few are beautiful and helpful.

Here are two I love....
They make me think....

Track 2. "Jeremiah"

"call ME jeremiah
jeremiah said the LORD
call ME and i'll show you
great and mighty things you have never seen..."(these words are reapeted for the entire song)

It is a beautiful gospel type harmony of about 3 voices, it is not old sounding though, it has more modern style to it.

~Jeremiah 33:3~

Track 3 "ANYWAY"~ I love this song.

"People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered

Forgive them anyway

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives

Be kind anyway...

If you are sucessful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies

Suceed anyway...

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you

be honest and frank anyway

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight

Build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness, they might be jealous

be happy anyway

The good you do today, people will often forget tommorrow

Do good anyway

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough

Give the world the best you've got anyway

You see in the final analysis, it is between you and GOD

It was never between you and them anyway"

The end is what gets me. It makes me remember what this life is all about.

Ok as you have seen I have been adding links to my blog...well this evening I found a neat blog entitled "Loving People is Hard" I was intriguied maybe you will be too. Here is the blog description which I absolutely loved!

"Loving people is hard.
Loving movies is easy. Loving music is easy. Loving the trees is easy. But loving people is not. I think it's partially because there's that threatening chance that they might not love you back. But we'll see."
In his profile description he states "With my blog, I write in hopes to afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted" How very cleverly Christ-like!

Check it out if you get a chance...

God loves us so much that He in love takes away things that though "good" distract us from Him. Often the taking away of something is very painful it is a trial in itself. It can be the loss of health a friendship, financial security or the death of a loved one. God knows that we too often look for satisfaction in things and people other than Him...He knows that this is deadly for our souls...that we need Him and to be truly blessed need to be wrapped up completely in Him therefore He prunes and takes away the things that distract us...it is very painful often until one makes the realization of the amazing loving hand of the Father in the providence. He is doing this so that I might find all my comfort and joy in Him rather than in His good gifts.

Oh when will my heart learn this for good! Sometimes I find that it is a greater blessing to have the less of something whatever it may be just because then I am more focused on God as my soul's portion and joy instead of temporal blessing as my portion. Today I was reminded of this, how my joy must reside in my relationship with Christ and with God the Father and the fact that the Spirit of God dwells eternally with me instead of with all the comforts He has temporally granted. Today one was torn from my hand and though it could return in a few days, for now while I greive the loss of this good thing I also can rejoice knowing that Christ can not be taken away from me and HE is much better than anything or one! Oh my soul rejoice in tribulation as James and Paul exhort us. Because through it I am learning more what it truly means to be able to delight in God rather than in comfortable circumstances. Job comes to mind in this train of thought...I think every Christian to some degree or another must go through some kind of "Job" experience in which one excalims "naked have I come into the world and naked will I leave.Blessed be the name of the Lord!" Job also knew His Redeemer lives...so do I and all of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ! What a wondrous hope!

May we learn to bless the hand that both gives and takes away in all seasons. And in the process learn to love more the Giver of all! Pain often is the instrument God uses to prune us and draw us away from the temporal, may we not buck at the very knife of love that causes us to grow closer to Christ. Christ has our eternal interests in view far better than we do!

God delights in His people as a Bridegroom delights over His bride.

God even compares His relationship with us to the most intimate of human relationships...we are not just servants we are likened to lovers! Wow...God sent Christ to die so that we might be united to Him in holiness.!

We daily face situations that tax us to core and when that happens we have to lean on someone...or something. I am finding the only One who can handle my burdens is Christ the One who bore my sins for me so that I might be a part of His bride, His beloved church. He is so very faithful to give the perfect wisdom and faithful love I need for the situations I face each day...esp. when I am desperate for wisdom and soundness.......and then when I open the Word..His voice it, never fails to amaze me.

It hits me sqaure and knocks me quite over with its truth...

I need alot more of it flowing in me. I am thankful that He is my faithful Beloved Bridegroom who delights in me and loves to speak His wisdom to me and all His people as well as listen to our heart's cares and needs. How wonderful of a God we have, He fellowships and dines "with tax collectors and sinners" as the Pharisees said. And then He transforms them into saints who will soon dine with Him in the Kingdom of God!

What humble powerful love...How deep and refreshing, a love that condescends so infinitely...that calls His creatures His friends! I cannot wait for eternity when we will be enabled to walk with Jesus and know Him in even more personal and closer ways...to see Him and live in perfection with Him! Oh, but to think that right now He is with us and will never leave us and that NOTHING can separate us from His love, ever ever ever!! That is joy unspeakable and full of glory as the apostle states. If we meditated on this more,we would be overflowing...with the truth. We Christians are so blessed so overflowing with the heaps of blessings spiritual esp. that God has lavished on us. May we begin to know them, experience them and taste them today! Remembering that they are eternal and flow from our union with Christ...Oh what a beautiful and blessed union! God desires us to be with Him in a way parallelled by marriage, wow! That is pretty amazing! Ephesians talks about it and it amazes me how God desires that personal and close of a relationship with His creatures..it makes me think more about the mirrors and images in creation that are to show grand narratives of God and His people. God is the Heavenly Bridegroom the Church is His bride! We are being perfected and will be united with Him and He will hold us eternally blessing us with His presence and goodness as we serve and enjoy Him forever!

"Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us that we should be called children of God...By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us." 1 John 3:1, 16

Photo was originally uploaded by counsell.

Cloudy sea
Originally uploaded by nune.

I was reading from Lamentations this morning after thinking about waiting and I forgot all about this passage in Lamentations untill I stumbled across it~all in God's timing ya know~ Here it is Lamentations 3:12-58...Note esp. verse 21-36...waiting and hope...another thing that struck me was God's soverignty in all things that happen...it is all from the hand of the Lord.

12 He (God) drew his bow
and made me the target for his arrows.

13 He pierced my heart
with arrows from his quiver.

14 I became the laughingstock of all my people;
they mock me in song all day long.

15 He has filled me with bitter herbs
and sated me with gall.

16 He has broken my teeth with gravel;
he has trampled me in the dust.

17 I have been deprived of peace;
I have forgotten what prosperity is.

18 So I say, "My splendor is gone
and all that I had hoped from the LORD."

19 I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.

20 I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.

21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.

28 Let him sit alone in silence,
for the LORD has laid it on him.

29 Let him bury his face in the dust—
there may yet be hope.

30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.

31 For men are not cast off
by the Lord forever.

32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.

33 For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men.

34 To crush underfoot
all prisoners in the land,

35 to deny a man his rights
before the Most High,

36 to deprive a man of justice—
would not the Lord see such things?

37 Who can speak and have it happen
if the Lord has not decreed it?

38 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
that both calamities and good things come?

39 Why should any living man complain
when punished for his sins?

40 Let us examine our ways and test them,
and let us return to the LORD.

41 Let us lift up our hearts and our hands
to God in heaven, and say:

42 "We have sinned and rebelled
and you have not forgiven.

43 "You have covered yourself with anger and pursued us;
you have slain without pity.

44 You have covered yourself with a cloud
so that no prayer can get through.

45 You have made us scum and refuse
among the nations.

46 "All our enemies have opened their mouths
wide against us.

47 We have suffered terror and pitfalls,
ruin and destruction."

48 Streams of tears flow from my eyes
because my people are destroyed.

49 My eyes will flow unceasingly,
without relief,

50 until the LORD looks down
from heaven and sees.

51 What I see brings grief to my soul
because of all the women of my city.

52 Those who were my enemies without cause
hunted me like a bird.

53 They tried to end my life in a pit
and threw stones at me;

54 the waters closed over my head,
and I thought I was about to be cut off.

55 I called on your name, O LORD,
from the depths of the pit.

56 You heard my plea: "Do not close your ears to my cry for relief."

57 You came near when I called you,
and you said, "Do not fear."

58 O Lord, you took up my case;
you redeemed my life.

Flower /c
Originally uploaded by nune.

I have been thinking about waiting of late. Waiting for God's perfect will...waiting for God to change me...and also what my responsibility to do while waiting is. I ponder what God asks of me. How He wants me to wait. In silence, submission, patience, love and respect. But also hopeful and happy...not worried or anxious. Waiting for Him to move and give me light as to what He wants me to do.

A question what does the bud do while it waits to bloom? I.E. What does God call us to do while we wait to bloom in God's garden? Let me know...I know this is a vague question...it plays on the postmodern side of our brains but bear with me. How can we wait patiently for God to reveal His will to us?

Thank you my kind readers! I appreciate your wisdom or verses you have on this~!

I have been reading a short yet packed with wisdom paperback entitled "The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence and was again encouraged to form godly habits in my mind more and more as I try to focus on talking with God all the time...waking and sleeping His presence is with us. Lawrence has some encouragement on this line...he states:

"We should establish ourselves in a sense of God's presence by continually conversing with Him...It is a shameful thing to quit His conversation to think of trifles and fooleries...We should feed and nourish our souls with high notions of God, which would yield us great joy in being devoted to Him" (16).

The editor of the book states that Lawrence "had always been governed by love, without selfish views; and that having resolved to make the love of God the end of all his actions, he had found reasons to be well satisfied with his method. That he was pleased when he could take up a straw from the ground for the love of God, seeking Him only, and nothing else, not even His gifts" (17).

Later Lawrence speaks of how he did not find "set times of prayer" i.e. what we think of as "devotions" as more helpful than being continually in the habit of having his mind upward and "conversing" with God/delighting in Him. I found this highly interesting, mainly because I have found that the fellowship joy and comfort of the Holy Spirit to sometimes be the fullest when I am taxed and busy with many things esp. at college...not nessisarily when I am having a set time of devotions. Not to discount their place. Nor am I saying we should rely soley on such times. I am just highlighting the beauty of the simplicity of living in every moment in active fellowship and delight in God. Just as the Psalmists like David who while shepherding his sheep composed praises to God and rejoiced in God's beauty, majesty and splendor. Oh how would our days be enriched and filled if we spent them in the bright presence of the Eternal One?

Lord enable us..we know You desire this of us. May we desire it more also. And experience its richness.

Heather in Sudan
Originally uploaded by Jessi Joy.

Heather is a girl who graduated from Geneva College several years ago and now is a missionary ministering in Sudan. The work there needs prayers...The above picture is of Heather. Cush4Christ.org is their ministry's website. Check it out for more specific prayer requests if interested. My roomate Amelia knows Heather and told me that she is a very sweet person, from her actions and email correspondance with me it is evident her heart is all for ministering to the these very people in great need of knowing Christ!

"Trust steadily in God,

hope unswervingly,

love extravagantly."

1 Cor. 13:13 b :~) Wow God....that is beautiful!

O greatly blest the people are the joyful sound that know; In brightness of Thy face, O LORD, They ever on shall go.

Yes they rejoice in Thy great name with gladness all the day; And in Thy perfect righteousness exalted high are they.

Thou art the beauty of their strength who dost them glorify; And by Thy favor, Thy good will, Our strength is lifted high.

Because our shield belongs to Him, The LORD will safety bring; the Holy One of Israel , He only is our King.

This Psalm setting was taken from The Book of Psalms for Singing, my church at College sings from this Psalter, and I sometimes find it easier to memorize the Psalms when they are in verse like this. It also helps to memorize them when you sing them...Anyways I love this Psalm's emphasis on the beauty of God's strength and perfect righteousness.

Today's sermon was in part on why it is godly to hate the things God hates. I desire to learn to hate in a godly manner the things that are a demolishing of God's good creation.

We cannot truly love unless we also have a conception of hate, and do actually hate. It is horrible to not hate what we should hate...that is a sin. Sohere is a short list of things I hate...

1. judging people
2. type casting people's personality in an unkind manner
3. Gossip. God hates it too
4. human cruelty esp. against the weakest in society (there are so many forms of this, both physical and emotional)
5. genocide
6. animal cruelty
7. Not giving a person a chance to grow and change
8. haughty eyes and unfriendly cliques
9.Tabloids, as they are gossip and lie based
10. Forgeting how to work chemistry problems

Ecclesiastes says there is a time for love and a time for hate. Holiness demands a hatred for unholiness as it is the brokeness of something good God created. We are called to love all people, never hate, because humans are made in God's good image even though there is brokenness. We are to hate the brokeness as it is evil.

Update on job search:: I got a job on Friday at Fresh Market it starts on Tuesday... :~). It is basicly an uscale grocery store with a variety of organic vegetables. So the search is over...

Yesterday I found out that I was selected for jury duty. So on June 9th I will go to be questioned by lawyers. If the lawyers find think I am sane and balanced and not biased etc...they might pick me to be a juror. I think I will enjoy seeing the legal process at work. What is funny is that my sister in law was also selected for jury duty but on the 6th of June. She is excited about it despite my aunt telling her that it would be horribly boring if she was picked to participate. I still think it would be enlightening to see the process and understand it better from having an inside view.

Mom and Michael
Originally uploaded by Jessi Joy.

It is so good to be able to hear all the hilarous things Michael says and does. He currently is in the habit of pulling on my hand and saying "Jessicaaaa outsidddee!" As he tries to pull me with all his 30 lb's of strength can muster out the doors to chase him. :~) Fun times~as long as he has had his nap...naps are important for 2 year old's sanity I am finding.

1 First name? Jessica
2 Were you named after anyone? Yes, my great grandmother Jesse
3 Do you wish on stars? I might if I lived in Montana, the skies there are beautiful and at night you can see thousands of stars.
4 When did you last cry? last Monday
5 Do you like your handwriting? Sometimes.
6 What is your favorite lunch meat? it varies
7 What is your birth date? 11-3-83
8 What is your most embarrassing CD? don't have any embarrassing ones.
9 If you were another person, would you be friends with you? I hope so, I am a relatively accepting individual. And besides unique people are interesting. ;~)
10 Do you use sarcasm a lot? With my family and friends when we need a laugh I do. Other than that I am straight forward.
11. What are your nicknames? JJ, JK, Jess, Jessi, Joy, and other random titles..made up and forgotten about.
12 Would you bungee jump? Why not?
13 Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? no
14 Do you think you are strong? I think so
15 What is your favorite ice cream? cookie dough chip
16 Shoe size? 8.5
17 Red or Pink? red
18 What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I am not very good at doing chemistry problems...but my least favorite thing...I wish I obeyed God more.
19 What do you miss most? my friends
20 Do you want everyone to send this back? if they are so inclined
21 What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? blue shorts and green flip flops
22 What are you listening to right now? The computer and clicks of my fingers...
23 Last thing you ate? I am hungry. But technically a piece of candy.
24 If you were a crayon, what color would you be? a shade of blue-green
25 What is the weather like right now? It's dark, stormy, mysterious and beautiful... I love that kind of weather...but agian I like almost any type of weather, esp. out of the ordinary weather...
26 Last person you talked to on the phone? A lady from a grocery store
27 Do you like the person who sent this to you? Oh yes!
28 Favorite drink? cold water
29 Favorite sport? Does horseback riding qualify?
30 Eye color? Denim blue
31 Do you wear contacts? no
32 Favorite food? Indian or Thai
33 Last movie you watched? The Horse Whisperer
34 Scary movies or happy endings?.. happy endings!
35 Summer or winter? both!
36 Hugs or kisses? Depends on who there from!
37 What is your favorite dessert? apple pie
38 Who is most likely to respond? haha Hilary you got me! ok probably Amelia! :~)
39 Who is least likely to respond? dad or mom they are super busy k!
40 Living arrangements? My parents, my two aunts and often visitors!! :~)
41 What's on your mouse pad? there are 2 stacked on eachother the first is red the second is from IKEA and is green and circular.
42 What did you watch last night? Part one of the Horse Whisperer
43 Favorite smell? lilacs or just bathed babies
44 Favorite sounds? thunderstorms, the ocean,
45 Rolling Stones or The Beatles : the Beatles!
46 What is your dream job? Taking care of a family
47 What would you do with an extra hundred dollars? I would save it to go traveling or horseback riding
48 What disease would you cure if given the chance? hypoglycemia
and diabetes
49 What has/will be the highlight of your week? Playing with my nephew and neice!
50 If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be? Saint Lucia

Virginia Beach- May 2004 010
Originally uploaded by Jessi Joy.

Virginia Beach

Virginia Beach- May 2004 007
Originally uploaded by Jessi Joy.

Virginia Beach aquarium pictures....my dad took em.

This post deals with the same branch issue as line last post and especially with the comments that Rabenstrange and Julianne posted in response to the original links. I have been thinking about...namely the fact that while the Gospel will offend people, Christians on the other hand should not have to offend unbelievers by their conduct...and they certainly should not. While Paul said to put no stumbling block before anyone. He also held no qualms about preaching the pure Gospel offence of the cross and all. He delighted in proclaiming the news to mankind...even the Romans news all about God's wrath and man's wicked wicked nature etc. you know the story. Paul lays it all out...he lays out the bad news then says "you humans REALLY need help! But God has come to rescue you." People tend to be pretty offended when they are told that their entire beings have been effected by evil...mutated in a spiritual way to become "radically depraved" as some put it. The Gospel is in it's essence both beautiful and healing but also so offensive to the natural state of fallen man who cannot see its beauty and power...it is foolishness...so how can we as Christians be wittnesses???Follow Paul's example of evangelism! :~) He's pretty radical, but he is also so compassionate and he expresses such concern over causing someone to stumble in their walk. Paul is gentle yet bold. He proclaims the Gospel without human eloquence rather he sticks to the message and lets God change hearts!

Ultimately we must see as Christians that it is the cross that offends unbelievers as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 1:17-25

17 For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel--not with clever words, so that the cross of Christ will not be emptied of its effect. 18 For to those who are perishing the message of the cross is foolishness, but to us who are being saved it is God's power. 19 For it is written: I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and I will set aside the understanding of the experts. 20 Where is the philosopher? Where is the scholar? Where is the debater of this age? Hasn't God made the world's wisdom foolish? 21 For since, in God's wisdom, the world did not know God through wisdom, God was pleased to save those who believe through the foolishness of the message preached. 22 For the Jews ask for signs and the Greeks seek wisdom, 23 but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to the Jews and foolishness to the Gentiles. 24 Yet to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ is God's power and God's wisdom, 25 because God's foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God's weakness is stronger than human strength."

I love that passage. Last Sunday our Pastor preached about how ministers are called to preach the GOSPEL! Not whatever they want...Christ calls His people also to share the Gospel with those around us...may we learn how to be like Paul who was wise and gentle yet also single minded in his pursuit of preaching the GOSPEL and that alone! We need God's wisdom and strength for this task!

So I was just blog surfing by the next blog button, and I found a link to a site that is VERY thought provoking....I would love to have other people's thoughts on what they think of the site...if you check it out look for the site's director's own faith...he only makes one note of it. But just check it out it made me think.

Here's the link to his entire site...
http://greatday.com/motivate/index.html

Here's a link to more on his faith...
http://greatday.com/ralph/mysource.html

Update :~)

1. Job: So I have put my application in to several places today for a summer job. The problem is most places don't want help for only a few months. I know that God has the right job and that He will give it at the right time...I just need to be faithful and keep looking...:~)

2. Activity: On a lighter note, I have been getting up at 5:30 to go to the gym and my heels are sore as they have blisters because my workout shoes are now in my book obsolete and falling apart. That is the next order of agenda...look for new running shoes! Well I sure like flip flops for around the house for now though its nice they don't touch the back of my poor heel! Ouch! Anyways I am trying to adjust to this new schedual of going to bed at a decent time so that I can get up and going at 5:30. But its all good. I enjoy the gym I go to alot. Its def. worth waking up early to go.

3. Family worship: Tonight we read 1 John in family devotions...and it reminded me of the theme of my life currently "what true love" is...So I was excited about that. God always works on teaching me themes I find...its so fascinating.

4. A Question: I have been pondering the question of whether we love God for who He is or because we feel His love for us?...I think it is probably goes both ways but I am not completely sure. I know God will make it clear. But if you have any insight leave me a comment please :~). Jonathan Edwards's book "Religious Affections" speaks about this issue some. I haven't read that book for 2 years though, so I am having trouble remembering the exact stance he held to. It sure is a good book but can be kinda introspective in its aim.

Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. --Romans 15:2

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. --Romans 12:10

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. --James 1:19

God call to love is radically different from the world's call to love. We are called to love those who wrong and hurt us...just as Christ did. This is an amazing supernatural love, only God's Spirit can produce in one's heart.

God has a personal growth plan for my life...And wow, it sure isn't easy but the results are good! I have lately been struggling with loving others when its hard to. I see that God is allowing me to go through this specific trial in order to learn what true love is. It is very challenging to go past the easy type of love to love when it hurts and when it is very hard. To love when all my flesh wants to do is be angry. But God is at work and when I go to God's word with a hurting heart and am prompted to look up the "love chapter" It is quite clear what God is trying to get through to my heart. Isn't this what I asked God for a few months ago...that I would learn to truly love people like Christ??? Well I think He has given me the situation which I am being trained by Him that I cannot do it myself and that I am at my own wits end...I can't do it in my own strength...I can only do it in God's. So here it is the verse that epitomizes what I need to learn esp. in this chapter of my life...

1 Corinthians 13: 1 - 13
1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2 If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

4 Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, 5 Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, 6 Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, 7 Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.

8 Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. 9 We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. 10 But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. 11 When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good. 12 We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! 13 But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.
Study This Chapter The Message

"When offered a choice always take the harder road" ~Elisabeth Elliot
This quote has been in my mind alot lately. As I think about my daily decisions, I am being shown more and more that the difficult ways are the ways God often wants me to go. It is the denying of myself and taking the way that requires more effort, work, cost, pain, but ultimately results in great joy and reward in that I am following God's call in my life.

How often I am tempted to act out in my natural nature's ideas and feelings rather than focusing on the new nature I have in Christ. I am in need of daily asking God for grace in order to see how I can be filled with Him and the beauty of His presence so that when I am jarred Christ's beauty flows out rather than my old nature's feelings and bitterness.

I was thinking this morning as I was taking communion in church how God wants me to love most when its the most difficult, when I am most tempted to act in my old nature rather than the new that is created in Christ Jesus for good works. How I do not have the strength to live this life godly and truly forgive those who hurt me except by Christ so filling me that I can not but spill over grace and love even when my heart would naturally be tempted towards anger and bitterness. Oh how I hate the old nature's ways...I know all too well how they reap when sown such a bitter harvest, So a I am so thankful that God is helping me to see that by His power I can respond in true love to those who are grating on me even if it is alot of the time. Not because of my will power or strength or morality but rather because the Spirit of the Eternal God lives in me and is changing me. That is encouraging and I am so excited to see the joy, peace and freedom God is granting my heart and entire being because of the changes He is doing. Obedience is pure joy in the end because it is the reconstruction of the harmony and beauty of prefall Eden. Disobedience is rebellion against the beautiful and wonderful order of God's creation.

It is an awesome privilege that as new creations of God His people are being renewed into Christ's holy image! Amen! Lord work more!

'"Grant what Thou commandest and command what Thou givest".~Augustine's Confessions

Here is my mom and Michael hangin out. I am so glad to be back home and see all the things I have missed while at school. :~)

My brother Justin relaxing after a long day.
I post most of my pictures at my photoblog here's the link
http://thouzandmiles.blogspot.com/

Michael (2) and Megan (1), my nephew and neice, have changed alot since I last saw them. Megan is almost walking and talks a little. Michael is talking all the time it seems and loves to play tag and grabs my arm and pulls me out to the deck to "chase him". He gigles and gigles as I always catch him in a matter of seconds. Ahh the little thrills of being a 2 year old! Megan just smiles at you whenever you look at her! She's so precious. I'll post pictures as soon as I take some! ;o)

**The lilacs are starting to bloom beside our house and they smell wonderful. Aside from the beauty outside my room currently looks has been invaded by boxes of books and my bed has lots of clothes on it. I am working on unpacking today, I always forget how long it takes to reorganize everything. It makes me long to have less stuff! I am determined next semester to simplify more when I pack to go back to Geneva. ;~1

Today is moving day for me. I have one final, one book report and one car to pack and then I will hit the road. It has been a good semester. But I am ready for the summer with all it has to bring! ;~) My parents are driving up from Virginia around 5 so we can drive back together....so next time I blog I will be in Columbus!! Horaahh...

Because I grew up in a Christian family, I was able to ask my parents to pray for me. They did, and I appreciated it. Despite the prayers I never fully had peace or relief. When this would happen at night all I could do was pull the covers up as close as possible to my head and shiver with horror as I held my body as still as possible and began to feel cramped and absolutely scared. I knew the presence and reality of evil and I did not know what I could do to keep it from coming to me.

When I was in high school, God worked in ways well beyond my comprehension. At the time the things God did seemed quite scary to me as well. I began to see that my "faith" in Christ was not a close relationship with Christ, but rather a set of orthodox or right doctrines that I knew about God, instead of a heart relationship and love for Christ because of who He is. I became distressed at the knowledge that I was still in my sins without a loving relationship with Christ. I had assumed that because I was a part of a Christian family and knew that Christ was God I was saved. I had foolishly assumed all my life that simply having right doctrine would save. The book of James says that the demons have right doctrine and they are certainly not right with God. I needed a heart love and relationship with Christ, I needed to be reborn by the Spririt of God. This is what God was in the process of doing in my life....waking me up to make me see my need and then He gave me the gift of a new heart and eyes to see the reality of Him and His awesome love.

Once I started to realize that I was not in a right relationship with Christ, I was like, how can I miss Christ? He is the maker of life and the only One that matters. So I cried out in a deep sense of my need as I was convicted of my sins that weighed on my soul. I began to see how very much I violated of God word. How I did not love God or my neighbor as myself. Rather I loved myself my own pleasure and desires. I had messed up my heart's desires and inward life because I did not put God first, and although outwardly I looked like a "good Christian" to others, I knew in my heart that things were NOT right..I was commiting mainly heart sins~ and these are ones that the world does not recognize yet are able to destroy the soul silently like poisin. The sin of idolatry. That is the sin of putting myself and my desires first instead of placing my highest joy in knowing and loving God.

Once I realized my sin and lack of remedy in myself, not yet being assured of Christ's free offer of forgiveness, God allowed me to go through a season of depression. It was in part due to the fact that I knew God would send me to hell as I was apart from Christ's forgiveness. For about 4 months I was a very depressed version of my usual self. Which was hard, I have been optimistic and enthusiastic all of my life, after this realization hit, I asked what is worth living for but knowing and being known by the One who created me? I lost interest in nearly everything except crying out to God for salvation from my sins. Every verse in the Bible seemed to tell me "you are not right with God!" I would search the Word and cry out to God asking Him to have mercy on me. I knew what I deserved God's wrath. Because I had broken His law. I was struggling to know what faith in Christ is.

But God had His own perfect timing in order to show the truth of Christ experientially to my heart. Granting me a new understanding of what union and communion with Christ is.

God was working through ALL of this for a WONDERFUL, yes absolutely WONDERFUL reason. Even though I was depressed out of my mind. God in a matter of a few months with the prayers of my parents, my pastor, his wife and a few other friends and the AWESOME work of the Holy Spirt, God chose to open my tearful eyes and give me a new heart with new desires and a NEW absolute assurance of the LOVE of Christ to me a helpless sinner in great need to hide myself in His righteousness! And find no other source of righteousness to flee to except that of Christ's. His death is the only payment needed to forgive me of my sins. His innocent death sealed my forgiveness and now I live spiritually in Him because of His life and death. I could no longer doubt who He was and is as He revealed Himself to me. It was clear that He is the Savior of His people.

I remember the night I found this out, I was so absolutely thrilled all I could do was go outside and sprint down the sidewalk in the darkness, crying and praying. My heart on absolute fire with His love. I was so amazed also when He gave my heart a deep love for Christ. It was often somewhat sudden how He would change things.

One morning a verse was placed upon my mind and it is so special to my heart because of the Holy Spirit giving it to me. It is "You are not your own, you were bought with a price!" I just rejoiced greatly that I did not belong to myself!! I did not anymore want to belong to myself and my own fruitless pursuits. They only ended up in bitterness and fear. I had never known before Christ came the deep joy and satisfaction Christ gives through His presence in my life.

I knew after He came that I would never be the same again, and it is true all things have become new, in a wonderful way! One of the ways that I am continually amazed at His changing my life in is that I no longer fear the future or evil anymore. The peace that God gives is amazing!

An example of this was when I was in New Orleans in a VERY bad section of town with much spiritual warfare and evil rampant. I knew Christ's presence within and without and did not have fear because of it. I knew that I was not alone no matter what happened! I also do not fear death. Rather I am looking forward to being with Christ whenever He sees that I am done on this earth. This world passes so quickly. My 21 years have passed so quickly! I know that for now God has a good purpose for me to fulfill and I am trying each day new for Him, set apart for Him to make beautiful by His touch.

I just cannot fully express the joy of being His, His love, eternal presence and safe keeping just amazes my heart continually!
The difference between before being hidden in Christ and after I was made one of Christ's lil ones is just so deep and wonderful.

Oh, I just thank and praise Him and ask each of you also to praise Him with me for the great salvation He offers to all people through His Son Jesus Christ! It is a free salvation~for those who need salvation! Christ came to the sick and needy those who know they need a righteousness they do not have in themselves! He came to fill them with the best things in this life~! Substantial love and meaning! Abundant life! John 10:10! That is why my blog is called Abundant life :~)! Cause thats what God gives to His people- life like they never had it before rich and full!

So all who read I envite you to come taste and see that the Lord is GOOD! :~) He will not disapoint the heart that earnestly seeks His face! Eternity will be too short to know the end of His goodness!

"In the LORD I take refuge" Psalm 11:1

"I love You, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; my shield and...my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies...In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried to my God for help; He heard my voice out of His temple, and my cry for help..." Psalm 18:1-3

Love shines in Christ's sacrifice

We see the love and justice of God most clearly portrayed at the cross. If we ever doubt God's love for His people we should look to the cross! There God's love is most poignantly revealed, as well as Christ's amazing humility! God the Son came to earth and died for the sins of all who trust in Him! That is love! Deep, deep love! Love that demands an answer~ will we give in to His call and seek that we might be engulfed in that puresest and most fulfilling love or will we leave it and turn to our own ways of selfishness and sin? The love and friendship of God is worth our lives and everything! May we enjoy this sweet and awesome eternal treasure found in Christ through His costly sacrifice!"

I generally don't shed tears when in physical pain, sometimes from heart pain. Both types are unpleasant. However, there is a genre of tears which I find healing. They are tears drawn from spiritual changes and God's Spirit at work. The mixture of a relizational healing pain and a profuound joy...as the Holy Spirit works in the heart of believers.

Sometimes when moved to tears I find Christ heals and changes in a way that causes me to see Him more, His very real presence beside and within me.

I have been brought low seeing my weakness and yet lifted up to see God's strength. Tears come and often bring a mysterious healing from God. The empowerment from the Spirit that comes through seeing my own failings and weakness in light of God's plan and strength is awesome.

I have seen often that spiritual healing comes in a unique ways. Shedding tears can be a form of spiritual catharsis to souls in need of a deeper understanding of God's power to use us despite our inablility in and of ourselves to be holy. We see that we are holy because of Christ's power and that it is Him at work in us.

The last time these strangely healing tears came to me was when my friend and I were talking about our weaknesses, temptations and the Savior who shows us His strength through our own faltering steps and weakness. I shared, she shared. I cried. and as the tears flowed I realized the healing God gives to us when we come to Him with empty hands and a broken heart, cause of our weakness, cause of His strength. His healing and powerful work in and through our weakness.

I came to the realization that I would not be the person I am today without my weaknesses and struggles, and without God shining through as my mighty Savior.

God shows His power when we are weak, He is always strong and stable. So as Paul I was again remined by heart experience to only glory in my weakness and in Christ's strength. As Sara Groves states "remembering it's not up to you-it never was"

I am so glad my salvation was "not up to me and never was", because if it had been I would still be dead in sin and apart from Christ's life.

Clouds05
Originally uploaded by mudtears.

wonder and amazement at the beauty of the Heavens, they declare God's glory!

They are happy forevermore who are over head and ears in the love of Christ, and know no sickness but love-sickness for Christ, and feel no pain but the pain of an absent and hidden Well-beloved.

We run our souls out of breath and tire them, in chasing and galloping after our night-dreams (such are the rovings of our miscarrying hearts), to get some created good thing in this life, and on this side of death.

We would rather stay and spin out a heaven to ourselves, on this side of the water; but sorrow, poverty, changes, crosses, and sin, are both woof and warp in that ill-spun web.

Oh, how sweet and dear are those thoughts that are still upon the things, which are above! And how happy are they who are longing to have little sand in their hour-glass, and to have time's thread cut, and can cry to Christ, "Lord Jesus, have over; come and fetch the sorrowful passenger!"

I wish that our thoughts were more frequently than they are upon our country. Oh, but heaven gives a sweet smell afar off to those who have spiritual smelling! God has made many fair flowers; but the fairest of them all is heaven, and the Flower of all flowers is Christ. Oh! why do we not fly up to that lovely One?

Alas that there is such a scarcity of love, and of lovers, to Christ amongst us all!

Fie, fie, upon us, who love fair things, as fair gold, fair houses, fair lands, fair pleasures, fair honors, and fair persons, and do not pine and melt away with love to Christ! Oh!

Would to God I had more love for His sake! O for as much as would lie betwixt me and heaven, for His sake! O for as much as would go round about the earth, and over the heaven, yea, the heaven of heavens, and ten thousand worlds, that I might let all out upon fair, fair, only fair Christ!

But, alas! I have nothing for Him, yet He has much for me. It is no gain to Christ that He gets my little, inconstant span-length and hand-breadth of love.

~Samuel Rutherford Letter 87

Isn't she cute! :~)

This is a list of 14 things I am SO looking forward to this summer at home! It is by the way not exhaustive or in order of importance. hehe

1.Hug and kiss Michael and Megan my super cute 2 year old nephew and 1 year old niece! I am sure I will be babysitting alot also! :~)

2. Cycling more! I can hardly wait to go biking on a nature trail that goes from right by my house to Ohio State University and also to the park of Roses..very beautiful. The path goes through woods. I will probably go for the ride with Christine.

3. Celebrate! This summer my longtime friend and sister in Christ, Christine, is getting married! We grew up together and now I am so looking forward to helping her with the wedding and being in her wedding also!

4. Sing with my family and my nephew and neice! (They try to sing at least, its ultra cute) My older brother plays guitar and so it is great to be able to praise God together.

5. I want to have more time to just spend hours in God's word and just soak it up and be filled with its truth.

6. Find a job in which I can serve others.Last year I worked at Ohio State and enjoyed it alot. I am not sure if I will be able to have that opportunity again though. I need prayer about that.

7. Figure out hello and picasa and how to post my nephew and nieces pictures! As well as ones of our garden, the farm and my family! :~) As you can see someone gave me info on flikr.com...therefore, I say bye to hello and picasa :)
8. Going out with my aunts, they are really neat people. We will probably go to Starbucks and just sit drink hot liquids, talk, laugh and plan our world traveling tour for someday when we have the opportunity to galavant the world ::sigh:: My aunts inspired my love for travel to some degree.

9. thinking more, blogging and thinking more...oh yes and thinking some more while going hiking.

10. sleep.....who needs it? ME! ;~) I assure you as this list shows, I am looking forward to the simple things of life.

11. Seeing my church family! Tina & Dave, Heather and all my other church family! :~)

12. My parents wisdom...being around it more, and also striving to learn how to be more submissive and obedient to it by God's grace...I can't wait to see how God grows me and enables me to do this more and more as He sanctifies me! Yay!

13. Homecooked family meals: no need to elaborate here! Other than the fact that my mom and I are a good team on cooking staff at home!

14. Loving Christ more...I am trusting God to work this in me..It is my desire as well as His own for my life..so I am super excited about that!

So as the last few days at school wind down, I am more and more excited about what this summer holds! I will keep everyone up to date with whats going on. Right now though I have to write 2 small papers, finish a major term paper and study for two finals ;~). ho hum...almost done!

I love the Westminister Confession of faith because their answers have prooftexts of Scripture below, so that the answers given are not the opinions of man but rather based upon God's revelation! :~)

Question 4 How does it appear that the Scriptures are the Word of God?

Answer: The Scriptures manifest themselves to be the Word of God, by their majesty and purity; by the consent of all the parts, and the scope of the whole, which is to give all glory to God; by their light and power to convince and convert sinners, to comfort and build up believers unto salvation: but the Spirit of God bearing witness by and with the Scriptures in the heart of man, is alone able fully to persuade it that they are the very Word of God.

Ok...lil note to self written in a moment of aparant dismayed quiet frustration: When the time comes and God places the right man in my life someday, I do not want to be like the majority of couples I see sitting in front of me at church. They tend to be so absolutely wrapt up in eachother that they can not so much as smile at another human being, esp. if that human being is single or what I might call "invisible". It's like the couple are on planet 16 and lovin the feelings of eachother's presence, ignoring the rest of the non-coupled world. while I am lil discouraged at the display of "Christian brotherly love" that I see at my church at college. Maybe its cause so many of the attendees are college students who are into themselves. I don't know, yet, sadly often many of the couples have an air about them that speaks "I do not know you exist."

I don't want to be guilty of it! Lord help me to be different when my turn at being a couple i.e. when the true testing ground comes. I want to treat others as I would like to be treated right now and at that time with dignity, concern, respect, value and love. I know that I fall short so often, I have alot to learn about Christian love. I so badly want to learn more. Cause ya know "they'll know we are Christians by our love" and its pretty pathetic when Christians who are loved by the GOD of the universe can not so much as love the person in the pew beside them. I just want to learn to put the truth in practice. But I wanted to blog this as an enduring note to self and to those who care to read it to practice in the power of the Spirit genuine love towards all...even couples, even singles, even oldsters, even orphans and yes might there be a section in the Bible that talks about loving the poor? :) All people! Oh that we might learn the beauty and joy of love in reality!

It is beautiful and is awesome, it is our calling for eternity. Check out J. Edwards's sermon "Heaven a world of Love". It is an awesome read.

My pastor's wife back home is an amazing example of this, she truly cares so much about how YOU are doing. Not just a quick and customary "how ya doing". No, she gives a deep heartfelt look into your eyes and waits for a true answer. She wants to know how I am truly doing all around. Not just the customary "fine how are you?" line. That does not cut it. She cares deeply and it is obvious to the upmost! She has impacted my life greatly simply because she has a gentle and quiet spirit which is loving, and she does not conform her lifestyle, dress, talk and mannerisms to the world but rather strives to live for Christ and His glory as she serves her children and husband.

She has inspired me to live more for Christ and in a way which truly cares for people. I long for this in my life. I dreamt last night about loving people from my heart and treating them as I would want to be treated. There was even a crisis and a decision to be made in my dream, I have to say I can't remember if I made a good choice or not. Then in church this morning in the reading from the law we read...GET THIS...Romans13:8-10

"...Love your neighbor as yourself..."

I was excited about this triple whammy. WFD Coalition (world, flesh, devil) forces put up a strong fight esp. after this strong victory of God's work within me, as I STRUGGLED to keep my mind on task during the sermon.

Well nuff said. God is at work and despite the WFD coaliton's squirmishes and drag out knock down almost down battles, God is still going to win in my life~cause He is tons stronger! So I can rejoice in this and live in this reality. I just need to keep working on all these issues God shows me. Thanks to His Spirit's light, I am never left without wanting projects to work on in this journey home.

"When you said this was a fight, you weren’t kiddingWhen you said this was a fight, you weren’t kidding, kidding, kiddingCause this room’s in a spin and it’s just round ten"
~Sara Groves~The Boxer

And oh yes, there is much, much more to come...the best is yet to come. For now we are in the midst of the fight, yet soon victory will be ours in our Savior!