Abundant Life

This is how we know love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life
for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
1 John 3:16

This is such a challenge to do...it shows me how much I need to be filled with Christ's Spirit...animated by His life.

When Christ comes to the human heart, who can resistsuch powerful soul-ravishing love?
It is fire deep fire. His presence and love is pure light, beauty.
He has the deepest humblest love I have ever known.
All I can think is what is anything else compared to Him?
All else I really don't need. Take Him and I am undone.

He alone perfects me, loves me this way, so so deeply, knows me fully and He does not merely accept me He rejoices over me!

I can't comprehend His love. It is so wonderful It just quiets me. When he came once all I could do was stain my pillow with tears of joy and wonder.
I don't deserve Him.
Come again, my Beloved.
I miss Your loving presence when I greive You.
Your grief is not anger at me it is a sadness a pity a deep heart-wrenchingly wise countenance.
You awe me..with Your love.
I am so thankful You know me
that You have asked me to know You.

In less than six weeks this semester will officially be over. It has been a good one overall. The classes have been interesting. The highlight was the trip to New Orleans over Spring Break. I was really stretched through that entire experience...and it was awesome! I am always so surprised to see how God takes an experience which is new and painful and turns it into the most amazing adventure.

As far as classes for next semester I am thinking about taking a general art class which would be fun and relaxing. Exercising creativity just breathes of one's spiritual nature as we are created in the image of the God the originator of creativity! Also I will take the book of Acts. Maybe the book of Revelation also but I have so many New Testament credits I might have to forego it. A science course consisiting of biology physics and chemistry...and yes, that will be highly interesting. Esp. for the teacher as he grades my exams :) hehe (...my dad is a chemist why didn't I get his more of his genes?!)

Maybe a class on postmodernism...hmmm...It sure has affected alot of our society!! Often I think in a large way yet it is so pervasive that we generally don't recognize it's tenents that have such a strong influence currently.

I am excited to also take a philosophy class on Augustine! Augustine's heart for God and his honesty are thrilling and stimulating. His book "The Confessions" is a great devotion starter.
I might take literary magazine might...not sure yet.

When I see my failure to keep God's perfect law it makes me delight more in God's plan of salvation from sin's penalty through Christ! The cross, The Way to peace with God. What the heart longs for...

The only hope is in Christ. Jesus to You alone can I look.

Jesus, You are my soul's only full comfort!! I have no other place to go. No other rock, not one, all other refuges are phantoms. I have tried of the world's phantoms and trap doors, and have been left unsatisfied.
To You alone, Christ can I turn for forgiveness, cleansing, wholeness, and a drink of Your everlasting streams of living water!
Flow into me and flow out of me to all around. Drink that satisfies but incurs an even greater thirst for Your goodness Christ!

I need You as my fortress, my heart lacks solid footing, I am changable. You, Christ are unchanging.
Your salvation is forever
Lead me by Your side, Christ..draw me nearer, Come to this waiting heart
Your presence is my highest joy!!

Jesus said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he
must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever
loses his life for me will save it.
Luke 9:23-24

This verse makes me wonder at how easily I am persuaded to go back to the world's way of living instead of remembering the goodness God has in His plan. Too often I consult my senses rather than faith in regards to decisions I make. This must change in order for my growth in Christ's way. I have found that Christ's way is always best and results in lasting peace and joy despite it looking risky in the beggining often.

He knows so much more than I! He asks me to give up on seeking myself and seek Him instead. His plans, His will.

Hidden in Christ, God creates my wholeness. God fulfills my purpose. Christ alone can make His people who they were truly created to be, more authentic and whole than if they "made themselves".

Now I just ask God for eyes to see this at every turn, so that I will not seek merely a temporal good but the one true God.

I belong to God and that is my greatest joy. Coming to know Him has made me desire to never want to wander from Him. I know His hand is on me, I ask that He might keep me from straying and going away from Him. He is my sole good. In Him is my goodness. He is the treasure I strive to seek. Please make my heart focused on this goal!

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my
anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and
lead me in the way everlasting.
--Psalm 139:23-24

Jesus, Light of the world, lead me closer to You! I am Yours, the work of Your hands.

Love like today is all you have
~It is the only moment you have to be
It is worth every bit of effort
~Love is beautiful
Loving others can hurts us
~But it is worth every beautiful gleam and painful sting
Love is an expression of God's essence
~Who loved when it hurt
Who loved for eternity
~And acted upon that love
In time and space
~May we act in the present
for it is all we have

I got back tonight, and was overwelmed, again, just with several things including if not mostly my need of fresh forgiveness from God, His wisdom and more of God's image in me. My circumstances tonight were pressing me alot (internally).
It was hard night, as I was appointed (2ed time) by my class to present to Student Senate a proposal for money for a class event.

The thing is I had 2 years ago (accidentally really!) had misunderstandings with about 5 of the guys on Student Senate. I felt just SO bad about it. But in my split second thinking just did not know exactly how to handle it. So I prayed about it, asking for opportunities to restore things. These are great people, there is no reason for the misunderstanding other than my outlandish appearance of shyness. So God just keeps having me go to Student Senate and present or listen or even last semester I was petitioned to write an article in the school newspaper about Student Senate.

Each time I seriously did not at all seek the opportunities to get in front of Student Senate they just were placed in my lap and people just said "this IS yours..take it!" So God seems to have a plan to keep me out of my comfort zone...intersesting, but just yesterday talking to Lia and I told her that I did not want to live in my comfort zone because it was not really living, it was just hiding. I would not be obeying God and I would not be being confronted, challenged, and changed by people and all of thier weaknesses and failings. I would not be challenged looking in their eyes and seeing myself, seeing the brokeness and the need as well as the beauty and joy.

I told Amelia that I just knew that this was a "dangerous prayer" to pray. I just knew it was needed and then wondered how God was going to wake me up this time :)..."all in love my dear one!"~God
Anyways I do thank Him for what He does it is I know all in love, I know it is because I have felt Chirst's healing loving touch, too real to deny! Times to many to count, yet so profound that I can not doubt or deny His power and presence deep within me as well as here in this world, yet so far above as well! His healing touch, His powerful forgiveness, release, joy it just can't be denied after what He has done for me.

So when God lays a prayer on my heart..I pray it no matter how "dangerous" that prayer might be to my comfy little existence. God did not come into my life to keep my status quo...I learned that quickly when I truly got to know Him personally...a "surprised by the fountain of Joy experience" I found out that His plan is not "nice, quick easy and neat usually..in fact it usually involves sacrifice, change, the inward discovery and exposure of sin and many changes....I am amazed at how He chooses to work....the rusults are joy indescribable. I can't explain it fully but God often has to show me my wounds before He can heal me of my brokeness. It is a process. As one of my friends reminds me. "holiness is a process" she says.

God keeps rearanging my prorities, and showing me what truly is important and what is not...Myself along with this world has things mixed up on this point often. God is so good to gently show me when something is just not right! Or sometimes it is just through what my good friends tell me, yes through the pain of being shown my wrongs and yet being enabled to change and continued to be prayed for and loved through the amazing process.

Tonight as I stepped back into my dorm I turned on my music and it randomly went to the hymn "I nee Thee every hour". It was such a message to my heart! It was like: "Yes! I totally need God every moment!" I need His love to comfort my heart. I need His healing forgiveness for all of my failings. I need His arms to hold me when I just need to cry.
I need the knowledge that Christ knows my name, it is engraven on His palm. I need the knowledge that all my life is meted out in perfection and love....even when I ask "why?" Things are working out, my heart is being transformed, through the joy and pain.

My life is not my own, it has been bought back from the power of darkness. I now can count my sorrows as a part of my joys in that God uses each and every one for His eternal plan. They do not go unoticed or in vain. In fact each thing that touches me comes from God's wise hands. His thoughts are higher than my own. God IS God and I am not.

Soon I will fly away from all this. Joy will fill me as I am drawn near to my Savior's once wounded side. His wounds, He bore for my sins. He bore my groans, they became His on the cross.

He purchased my eternal life through His death in my place. Now I can rejoice in the new relationship of deep love I have with God as a result of Christ's death!

He is making all things new...my heart, life and mind. Like unto His perfection.

This prayer we are examining in my spiritual formation class...It was written by Augustine. It is quite thought provoking...

O eternal truth and true beloved eternity! You are my God; to you I sigh by day and by night. And when I first knew you, you raised me up so that I could see that there was something to see and I still lacked the ability to see it. And you beat back the weakness of my sight, blazing upon me with your rays, and I trembled in love and in dread (The Confessions, pgs 149-50).

God does raise us up when we come to know Him, he gives the eyes to see him by faith and to see his awesome beauty. It is amazing and utterly life changing! It is nearly unutterable when God makes himself known to our soul. It is so sacred and so beyond my wildest dreams...I can only long again for my Savior to transport me closer to him; open my eyes to see him more.

God is always there the same from eternity; never changing perfectly just and loving.

"Let the love of Christ take possession of your heart, and you will find you are living for Him without an effort....

We have but one thing to do, we have but one Person to please. Has your life been thus simplified?"

Andrew Bonar from "Heavenly Springs" (182)

If you liKe acoustic guitars and Jars of Clay~you can listen to their a portion of their new CD. Enjoy! The CD posted is coming out March 22 is called "Redemption Songs" fitting for this week's Easter focus.
http://jarsofclay.com/

I was again reminded today how important the way/spirit in which I interact with people is.

This occured through interacting with a person in the library, who reminded me of how I can act when I am being disobedient to Christ by following the sinful nature and being cold, distant and selfish.

I was impressed with the fact that the way I interact with others even causually profoundly affects people, either positively or negatively. It can literally mean the difference between being a light or a reflection of darkness.

When people are selfish and cold and treat people like uninportant things which we would rather not have to deal with we by are effect saying that the image of God in them is of no importance and that we are much more important than they are.

Even if I do not realize that I am doing this that is what I am doing, when I do not LOVE people SINCERELY, by being friendly and warm, caring and careful. Tactful and patient...open and giving. It is not about what people think about me, it has to do with what people think about the God I serve! I belong to Him, and confess His name.

He does not treat people with distance and disinterest! He came to earth to show His real living and vital love and compassion. He lived out His love in the toughest way possible!

That is what I desperately want to do as I walk through this world. I want to leave footprints seeped in a deep God-shining love, flowing from God's Spirit within me.

I want my daily interaction with all people not to be cold or distant but rather, holy, humble, loving...a reflection of the way Jesus lived when He walked these dusty roads 2,000 years ago. He lives and gives eternal and abundant life to His people, and that is why I ask Him alone for this ability to love just like Him.
~I know He will give it, I just need to ask Him!

Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one
died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all,
that those who live should no longer live for themselves but
for him who died for them and was raised again.
--2 Corinthians 5:14-15

This is how we know love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life
for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
--1 John 3:16

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but
Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by
faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
--Galatians 2:20

At just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ
died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a
righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly
dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
--Romans 5:6-8

There is only one relationship that matters [supremely] and that is your personal relationship to a personal Redeemer and Lord. Let everything else go and maintain that at all costs and, God will fulfill His purposes through your life. -Oswald Chambers Workmen

Discipleship means personal passionate devotion to a person, our Lord Jesus Christ. -Oswald Chambers Utmost

A backslider has forsaken God and taken up with something else.
-Oswald Chambers Workmen

Assuredly there is but one way in which to achieve what is not merely difficult but utterly against human nature: to love those who hate us, to repay their evil deeds with benefits, to return blessings for reproaches. It is that we remember not to consider men's evil intention but to look upon the image of God in them, which cancels and effaces their transgressions, and with its beauty and dignity allures us to love and embrace them.
~John Calvin

Every man is a missionary, now and forever, for good or for evil, whether he intends or designs it or not. He may be a blot radiating his dark influence outward to the very circumference of society, or he may be a blessing spreading benediction over the length and breadth of the world. But a blank he cannot be: there are no moral blanks; there are no neutral characters.
~Thomas Chalmers

Theirs is an endless road, a hopeless maze, who seek for goods before they seek for God.
~Bernard of Clairvaux

The devil is not terribly frightened of our human efforts and credentials. But he knows his kingdom will be damaged when we begin to lift up our hearts to God.
~Jim Cymbala

Neither go back in fear and misgiving to the past, nor in anxiety and forecasting to the future, but lie quiet under His hand, having no will but His.
~H. E. Manning

Every man's way is right in his own eyes, But the Lord weighs the heart.
---Proverbs 21:2

Do not be envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them; For their minds devise violence, and their lips talk of trouble.
---Proverbs 24:1-2

Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day might bring forth.
-----Proverbs 27:1

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

"Christian faith consists of man's total response to Christ. To "have" faith is to be in Christ, as members [of the body] are to the head and branches to the stalk. Faith is union. Edwards held that only as we are first united in Christ will we be justified by God. The sequence is all-important: 'Our being in Him is the ground of our being accepted [justified]'. Justification by faith is the same as justification-by-our-being-in-Christ. Union in Christ is not the reward of faith; union IS faith. Furthermore, man actively gives himself to this union. Edwards held that faith is 'the soul's active uniting with Christ'; Christ who first came to man now treats man as 'capable of act and choice' to come to Him. 'Such faith', said Calvin, 'does not merely beleive about Christ; it embraces Him with the soul.'

The crux of the doctrine specifies that union wiht Christ is not the reward for faith but is faith, and that faith alone we are justified. To suppose, for instance, that God grants this relationship with Christ as a reward for good works is inconsistant with one's being under condemnation until he comes into the relationship."

~H.P. Simonson pg. 42-43 "Jonathan Edwards: Theologian of the Heart"

These exerpts remind me of what it means to have faith in Christ for salvation from the condemnation I deserve as a sinner, it means that I hide myself within Him. He has become my only Refuge and the One I know I belong to body and soul. He is the One who has clothed me in His righteousness. His holiness is now counted as my own before God...and God is transforming me now to become more and more what I am counted as in God's sight...thus sanctification! I am becoming what I am in Christ through His sacrificial death.

All glory for salvation goes to God, I have been given the greatest gift on earth and it is a free gift...an awesome gift...I will be eternally thankful for it. Lord, make me faithful to You!

"And they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus." Acts 4:13~

Our lives as followers of the risen Christ should also be testimonies of this fact~ We have been with Jesus, how do our lives show it? That is the question I ask myself often.

Can others see that I have been with Jesus, that His heart's longings now reside forever within my own? That His love animates my love, feet, tongue? That I no longer belong merely to myself. That now the eternal God animates me with His abundant life. Does all of my life reflect Jesus character and desires? Are my friendships and aquantences aware that I have been with Him because of my actions and love being animated by His living presence?

Authenticity is what is needed so badly in this world. Disciples of Christ who love Him and know Him in reality and are living authentic and compassionate lives for Him in the midst of a broken world deeply in need for God's healing forgiveness found in the Gospel.

God's free gift of salvation in Jesus is offered through clay vessels such as myself who are indwelt by the Spirit of God, who compels them to LOVE others and live for Him who set them free forever.

A striking resemblence in nature and temperment is the logical result of living communion with Jesus Lord of Heaven and earth. The one who is in dwelt by Jesus can alone offer the world His love.

Your love it reaches all that I am
And I am overcome by Your
Deep, deep love
Deep, deep love

~michelle Tumes song entitled Deep Love from her CD "center of my universe"

God's deep love answers our needs, it works deep within. This love moves my heart beyond this earthly realm to reach far beyond to that which is eternal: God. Who is near. We live and move and have our being in Him ~every breath we breathe comes from God.

Here is a link to a website with pictures from the New Orleans trip. Enjoy!

http://photos.yahoo.com/curldog82


It was such a fun cohesive group as you can see from the pictures! :)

I have been thinking about how very small I am in the midst of this world and especially before the infinite God of the cosmos. I truly am less than a speck walking around in my own lil' world. Yet, Christ came and became a human so that He might bestow His grace on His people.

God is the source of any good in me:there is NO room for boasting as the apostle Paul states. It is God's Spirit that animates good in a person, any god-honoring motion in my heart has its origin in Him. I praise Him for looking down in His mercy and loving me while I was yet unholy and ignorant of Him. I certainly did not deserve His love or grace! His grace and love are so wonderful in part because they are a freely bestowed gift...so utterly undeserved!

He deserves endless praise...heaven will never run dry of praises for Him, who gave all for sinful stubborn humans who are bought with His blood.

I love an untame lion
He's calling me to come
My cold heart how it hesitates
I want to turn and run

His power is dangerous
His power is endless love

I love an untame lion
He's broken every chain
I'm free now how can I resist
His voice sings out my name

He's calling me
To a place where love's the only song
He's calling me
To a place where night will dance
With endless dawn dancing on and on

I try to hide in sleeping
His music fills my dreams
I'm filled with longing for a place
A place I've never seen

He's calling, I want Him so
He's calling, I can't let go

Shadows falling, His voice is calling
Golden is the sun
It is morning without warning
I fall into His love
("Inspired [by C.S. Lewis'] character Aslan in The Chronicles of Narnia" Song written by Michelle Tumes in her CD "Listen")

This song is such a good description of what it is like to come to have a personal relationship with Jesus. His wildness and power is incomprehensible, His gentle tenderness and love is overpowering and melts one. Indescribable Joy filled my heart when He came! He alone fills my heart with that kind of joy and happiness. It is better experienced than described.

Yet, the Psalms are filled with descriptions of what one's experiences are when encountering God. I love the Psalms because they speak the language of my heart and of my spiritual journey! They are pilgrim songs for spiritual travelers longing to know God.

God keeps answering SO many prayers! I cannot give thanks enough!
He is able to do far beyond what I can ever ask or imagine!

It just amazes me!

I am contemplating going on a 3-5 week long archeological excavation in Israel in June and July this summer. It would count for 3 college credits at Geneva and would be so exciting. I have for as long as I can remember wanted to go to Israel! I really want to see Jerusalem.

The site being excavated is called Tel Zeitah (maybe an ancient Biblically referenced city called Libnah) Part of the work is being done on a large public building maybe made by Egyptians during the late Bronze age the other part is a building that had been destroyed probably during King Hazael and the Aramaens from Damascas came in and desolated things during the ninth century BC.

I need to pray alot about this because I need to decide if I should do this this summer or (be more practical and) get a job like I did summer living at home and working at Ohio State University.
I also want to go out and visit my grandparents in Montanna, and help them put up a corral for their horses and quilt with my grandma. I am excited about all the possobilities. I just need to be praying for wisdom about them!

(This part added after meeting on March 16th)
I went to the informational meeting today. Interesting! But I am not sure if it is for me or not. Maybe I should go on a geographical tour of Israel instead of an archeological. Although it would be interesting I kind of am not a real small detail-oriented kind of person. I get a little frustrated when I work on small brittle details (like ancient clay articles :) for long amounts of time esp. I love working with lots of people and helping people so something more focused on peole would be more intersting to me I think.
I would love to visit Egypt as well as Israel sometime. :) hmm so many places to visit so little money. It is just so cool to be able to travel to the Middle East or anywhere at all. I find that I learn so much when I travel! I will just have to choose wisely and treasure every moment!

The trip was AWESOME!!!!

We went tent camping Saturday and then drove all afternoon and through the night untill 7 am Monday to get back to PA. Now I am a little groggy....it was wonderful, yet almost feels like it was a dream. Until I look in the mirror and see my sunburned face and see all of the loads of paint- spattered clothes I need to wash :).

We went to the French Quarter Sat. am and did the tourist thing. Jackson Square and the French Quarter are very different during the daylight.

I learned so much on the trip. I loved the camping also (it was my first time in a tent...but hopefully by no means my last time!). It was SO beautiful. We listened to the birds sing. Watched the stars. Looked out on the lake and sat around a camp fire worshiping the Creator of all. We all shared what God had taught us then we talked to God.

I thank God for such a safe, growth-producing, fun, encouraging and stretching trip over Spring Break. It is hard for me to beleive all that happened over the week...alot got squeezed in those early mornings and late nights. Yet, I am surprised to say that I am truly refreshed and ready for school to start again. God has been faithful to pour back into us strength :).

Through the mission trip down to New Orleans God placed one request espescially on my heart before the trip to pray for. The burden was that God would through this trip teach me how to love people better, (as well as my Heavenly Father). This was the biggest prayer request I had before God on this trip.

What is so neat is how God answered that prayer in so many ways! God made that the theme of the trip for my heart. I kept turning in my Bible to Colossians chapter 3 ...this verse sums up the entire trip and what God taught me on the trip...it blows my mind, it is so all-encomapassing in what God impressed on my heart and taught me through the expereinces there.

Being around a whole bunch of people will surely bring out opportunities for love when its tough, and for someone to show grace. Here is an exerpt that was so applicable:

"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another whoever has a complaint against anyone ; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on the bond of love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which you were indeed called in one body and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly , with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father."

Colossians 3:12-17
God truly did far beyond what I could ask or imagine in working in my heart and in softening it and showing His love and mercy toward it! I am so thankful God gave this wonderful opportunity.

I have been thinking on this mission trip about how much the trip is stretching me to grow in my love of others, i.e. when they are stepping on me or my heart. It really hurts when people hurt you and you feel rejected or something. It is hard to love back instead of growing bitter or resenting them.
Bitterness is a weed that chokes the very life out of people it is allowing another to control and steal your joy.

What I have been thinking about is how Christ asks for more than merely pretending to be nice or cordial to someone simply because you don't want anyone thinking that your mean. Christ asks for a radical love which truly from the heart forgives the other person and loves them from the heart. That is tough! For sure, but when I truly see how much Christ has done for me and forgiven me while I was yet a horrible enemy of His (yes my sins killed Christ). He loved me while so unlovable, He did not wait till I was good, holy, nice or sinless before saving me, He saved who I WAS as a lost sinner needing His forgiveness for screwing up His good creation with evil and the perversion of His good creation...brokeness. Christ loved me in my brokeness and I must as His disciple love all others in their brokenness and despite their brokenness. I must have compassion on them for their brokenness even when it cuts me DEEPLY. Because it will, its like broken glass and brokenness(sin) is terribly wounding and dangerous. Yet, Christ is brining redemption to creation and His people. Oh I do desire that God would pour more of His love into my heart for others, esp. those who do not like me or are not kind to me. I need to learn to love ALL people as Christ, not just the ones who love me. For it is easy to love those who love me, Christ calls for something greater, love for enemies. Love for those who seek your harm.
Christ's love frees us for this wonderful forgivenss and love...It truly is pure freedom and joy.

Last night we went out again to Jackson Square and sang on the steps in front of a cathedral. It was dark and a little cold but there were still alot of people out and milling around. The street on the first night that we were there was filled with many tarot readers and palm readers yet progressivly each day we have gone down there has been less and less there. That night there was only one who in a matter of a half-hour had packed up his things and left. The entire square that night was filled with singing. It was beautiful to hear while walking around the square later and handing out sandwiches and talking to the homeless who gather there.

I went with Matt, Emily and Paul. We met a homeless man who was so kind and who encouraged the group (esp. myself!) by his words and testimony. We also talked to a man named Ishmael who was from Kansas City. Last night we talked to a young man from Cleveland. Alot of these people hate living out on the streets.

The group met to pray in a French quarter church and then headed back in the vans. When we got back we talked and a group of us played silent football. That was funny! It was my first time and everyone kept picking on me saying "miss commissioner mam Jess does...." It was amusing! Mark jumped on Meg and Laura because they were being a pain :) and Ali and Meg wrestled each other (Meg won!) It was a fun night we got in bed in the wee hours of am but it was fun!

We arrived in N.O. on Sunday evening and we have been working on stripping-chipping paint of off a 70 year old woman's house who is raising her grandchildren. We primed it today and it was alot of fun to do it as a group. Other groups stayed back and cleared the grounds and got in a paint fight- YES a paint fight and Rob started it! He is even the group leader! On Sunday night we were in the French Quarter when Megan, and a few others dumped powerdered sugar on my RD and rubbed it in too (Lest you wonder why the French Quarter would have powedered sugar just hanging out~ this occured at a rowdy outdoor French pastry cafe *(all in fun of course) So there has be lots of interesting things going on we are leaving right now to go down to Jackson Square and talk to people and possibly sing. It is great to be here!~ and beautiful too~!

What do you think of this quote?
"[Women] be womanly. Soft and strong. Vulnerable and ferocious. Dependant and powerful. Wise and childlike. Stubborn and unpredictable. A host of subtle contradictions that make you...all woman."
~Michelle McKinney Hammond

Intersesting...How do you all think of it as it compares to the Bible's discriptions of a godly woman? I love how the Bible talks of the beauty of a "gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in the sight of God." That concept just blows my mind! Love it!

Tonight the New Orleans group met again and had dinner together. We worshiped together then washed eachother's feet. Rob told us all that as Christ sent out the seventy disciples that they were like lambs among wolves. Rob explained that we are like ambassadors of Christ being sent out into the world to be like Him, and even as Jesus is the Lion of Judah, so we too also are like a lion in that when a wolf comes to tear at our throats, we turn around and they see staring back at them the Lion of Judah and no longer only a weak lamb. That was a powerful thought. The washing of the feet helped us see how we are to serve eachother in humility and love. He told us to remember what we did tonight later on in the week when we are stressed. It was a really good night. I am thankful to be able to be going on this trip.

I Your creature
Delight in Your love
and in Your eternal plans formed long ago for my journey
Make me to know Your peaceful path and walk always in it
Fill me with Your presence: That I might never be left to myself
It would be an unbearable curse to bear to be left without You; Divine Beauty,
Creator of all good, Sustainor of all existence.
May You fill me with Yourself
Be the light of my existence so that that light from You
My Lord may shine in the darkness and bring You glory
Your glory is my joy
Light my heart with Your flame of love
May the flame never flicker dimly!
Never let me lose You, my first and highest love!
I trust Your guiding hand and eye to be upon me forever
Praise and thanksgiving belong to You and
Eternity is too short to see all of Your vast goodness

Having trouble sleeping tonight because my brain is going a thousand miles per hour thinking about how wonderful it would be to be in a spinning class right now. Funny when these desires for exercise come when no gym is open! For some reason I have been wanting to be pushed hard in a class like that. My body is groaning for hard physical activity. I must be getting some not-so subtle messages from my brain telling me that it is tired of mental labor and just wants to get going and be pushed physically.

Spinning classes are SO fun! The instructor pushes you to go as fast as you can on the bike, and although going outdoors on a nature trail is more beautiful (by far:) than indoor biking, however the fact that you are surounded by a group of hard-working spinners beside you, is esp. motivating. Along with the loud music and coach yelling at you to GO!!!!!!! It is thrilling reallly. And your body is quite worked out after the strenuous hour of spinning. That you are relaxed and rejuvinated and you use up an hour as well as about 700-900 calories. Hmmm. Nice motivtion ehh? It does leave ya a little hungry in a few hours though. Esp. if you have done an hour of yoga or aro. dancing right afterwards. Yoga is easier than pilates. Pilates is weird I think. Yoga is very relaxing, I have heard that it is dangerous. I am not sure, but in the classes that I took all we did were lots of stretches and stuff. Sorry, to all those devoted pilates fans out there: I must be honest in saying I really don't like pilates. Maybe it was the instructor, she was a little short sometimes. I like patient instructors personally! :)

Well, anyways, I should head back to bed, as we are leaving bright and early tommorow (7:30) to head to New Orleans. If I were in charge we would have gotten the group up at 4:00 am to head out, yet most of my fellow college students would despise me for this. am people like thier mornings bright and early. I have become a moring and eveing person at college.

Yawn. maybe ill dream about spinning classes tonight... thats fine just hopefully not about painful pilates ~grrrrr.

Calvin on the faith of the godly consists of three things:

1. humility

2. humility

3. humility

A good thing to remember "God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble...."

"When I stand before the Lord, Ill be standing alone. This journey is my own. Still I want man's advice and need man's approval, but this journey is my own. Why would I want to live for man's approval and pay the highest price? What would it mean to gain the whole world and yet lose my own soul? So much of what I do is to make a good impression. This journey is my own. 'Cause trying to please the world it was breaking me down'. Now I live and breathe for an audience of one. You can live for someone else, and it will only bring you pain. I can't even judge myself. Only the Lord can say "Well done". ~Sara Groves~

Sara came to Geneva last semester and gave a message we all needed to hear.

A long time ago there once lived a girl who loved music, singing and chiors. She took voice lessons dreaming of becoming a famous singer some day. She with joy recieved a CD of the Vienna Boys Chior for her 13th birthday. While most girls were listening to teen heart throb artists, she listened to choral and classical. Anyways, this girl also LOVED horseback riding (ok that was random! sorry) . So when she reached highschool she decided to try out for a chior. She tried out and to her delight was accepted. Her mom and dad would drive her to practice every Monday evening 7-9. She loved it. Except for a few things. But overall all was well. They sang beautiful songs. She sang and learned alot of good music as well as what it would be like to be around a whole bunch of people exactly her age (a little scary! When you are used to mixed groups). Then one night her mom sat by a woman reading a book, that sparked a conversation on life and all the wonderful things only moms talk about. They became fast friends and in short the girl..ok me...became friends with this woman's daughter. The girls wrote letters to eachother over the summers and when the school season returned, the new friend was invited over. That is when a boy, namely my handsome brother, came into the picture....dundundun....

Their eyes met and the rest is history! I am not kidding, this romance was well just plain interesting. Let's just say we still wrote but not with the same frequency because, well a heart-stealing guy entered the pic, namely someone's brother, who stole my friend's heart :) (Don't worry I am not mad anymore Justin). I am glad for liking to sing because if I did not they would not have met. And now she is my sister in law. And she is AWESOME. She is almost exactly the same age and she is so much fun. She is highly musical and also a mother of two. And this is NOT THE END, just the begining~ I love having this girl as my sister!

Yesterday, while in my night class (and sidebar, yes, everyone can pity me sitting there for hours~just kidding), my cell kept buzzing next to my foot, nonetheless I wondered what was happening, so after class I promptly called my mom. She had left a message saying that my 2 year old nephew Michael could now say "Jessica" and would then proceed to smile and laugh! YAY! I had worked all summer trying to get him to say my name, yet he stubbornly refused to say "Jessica" until he had perfectly mastered it. He prefered to say the name of his 1 year old sister Megan constantly....Meeegan, Meeegan, Meg, Meg, Meg was the actual translation) as pronouncing gleefully the first names of his parents and my dad's name. (he simplly ADORES Grandpa Bob! Whom he affectionately calls "Bob!") Michael lOVES to sit out in the garage in a stroller and watch "Bob" fix the car or work on a project. He will cry in protest if taken out of the direct viewing vision of Bob, a little attatched i'd say. :)
I was absolutely elated to hear the news! My mom was babysitting that night and just wanted to tell me. Michael surely is a bright little fellow in my book. I miss him and Megan so much! They are absolutely darling and exceptionally talented children, beleive me, my neice and nephew are pretty special!! Ok so I am biased ~ but thats ok for an aunt!

Q: Here I am again Lord ready for Your help again :) with prayer that is. Pour in my heart the Spirit's groanings.

A: "The Spirit also helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son....What then shall we say to these things? If God be for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?"
~Romans 8:26-29, 31-32

I am exhausted...too many late nights here at college do add up! But I am sure that there will be some time to sleep in the car as well as laugh and talk alot with the members! That will be good! I am wondering if I am ready for New Orleans? We will see what God does, that is an exciting prospect! Tonight is the meeting for the group. I am doing devotions on 1 Cor 2~ I hope God uses it and it is encouraging to the group. The contrast will be Christ's believers in the world.

We will see alot down in N.Orleans, I hope that we will all be prepared to be humbled and see alot of need around us. We will see God's faithfulness also. That will be exciting. Will update blog when I get back. Maybe with a journal entry...Thanks for your love and prayers, family and friends (you could [hint] get blogsites so that you could post ocasionally ;). I do though really appreciate all of the new people I have heard from through blogging. That has been fun. People are fascinating!

"God is good, if he gives you what you want. What if you want what is bad, will he not be more merciful then by not giving?" [Augustine on the Psalms 86, 7]
Yes! We do not even know what is good for us so often. That is why God is so good as to overule some prayers we make and in the process answer in far better ways; often by revealing even more of Himself to us~far, far better...than many other things I often pray for. This I have seen to be a wonderful mercy displayed by God. May the Lord lead us in straight paths. May His word guide and gaurd our ways forever.

I have so much to give thanks for! I could go on and on. But I will not knowing that would not be helpful for my readers :) I will just list a few of the great blessings God has given me this year in particular.
3 very close friends, whom I love very dearly! I can share my life's lessons, joys, trials and temptations with these three girls and know that we can pray together and be able to trust eachother to tell the truth in love and give godly advice. Just as the Puritans said it is important to have a small circle of 2-3 friends like this. It is such an encouragement to have friends who are like-minded and similar in thier heart's aspirations. These girls are awesome, and I see how God providentially brought each of our paths together esp. this year. Last year I was in a dorm situation that was ok but was not as encouraging spiritually as I would have liked and the Lord placed the burden on my heart to pray that the next year I would grow MUCH spiritually the next semester at school. I knew God had many more lessons He wanted to teach me and wanted me to have fellowship with more Christians who were passionate about their relationship with Christ. This year God allowed me to have a roomate who is so encouraging in my walk with Christ! We can truly share on a heart level and it is wonderful! It has shown me agian how God providentially leads us through our lives and the people we meet are a big part of His good plan. We can trust Him to have us meet the right people at the right time. Our calling is to be faithful in all circumstances as well as content! God sometimes allows us to go through the valleys so that the mountain tops are enjoyed and valued so much more. We can be confident of this that all things are working out for our sanctification. That is why I can remember that when I encounter trials God is going to use them for my growth...A very good thing. So I thank the Lord for all of my circumstances! He is so faithful!

John 6:68
Simon Peter answered [Jesus], "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life.

John 8:12
Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, "I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life."

John 10:10
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

John 10:11
"I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.

John 10:15
even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.

John 10:28
and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand.

John 11:25
Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies,

John 12:25
"He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal.


John 15:13
"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

John 17:2
even as You gave Him authority over all flesh, that to all whom You have given Him, He may give eternal life.

John 17:3
"This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.

John 20:31
but these have been written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing you may have life in His name.

"The whole essence of the spiritual life consists in recognizing the designs of God for us at the present moment." Elizabeth Elliot

"Now is the only time worth having because, indeed, it is the only time we have." C.H. Spurgeon

"All the way to heaven is a heaven"
Catherine of Sienna

Each moment lived in the presence of God, yeilds a heaven for the disciple of Christ. ~musings~

"But as for me I will praise You yet more and more. My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness and of Your salvation all day long; for I do not konw the sum of them. I will come with the mighty deeds of the Lord God. I will make mention of Your righteousness Yours alone."

"My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken...My soul waits in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my Rock and salvation...On God my salvation and my glory rest; The Rock of strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."
Psalm 62:1-2, 5-8

Sometimes I just long for God's beauty. I just long that I might reflect it like I should. I guess thats what He is up to in my life. But it is not complete...far from complete! But, O that it might come soon. I am NOT content how I am now, I must be closer to God. I thirst after His presence and His wholeness. This world is full of brokeness. I am glad that He is healing and recreating creation by His power on His timescale. God is working, we just have to have eyes to see and a heart that longs to know...You O Lord alone can give these things, they are Your gift to Your people. O Continue Your mercy to us in Christ! You promise to fill.

This song is aressting. It really strikes at the heart and digs deep...poignant.
Evanescence - Surrender

Is this real enough for you?
You were so confused
Now that you've decided to stay
We'll remain together

You can't abandon me
You belong to me

Breathe in and take my life in you
No longer myself only you
Theres no escaping me my love
Surrender

Darling theres no sense in running
You know i will find you
Everything is perfect now
We can live forever

You can't abandon me
You belong to me

Breathe in and take my life in you
No longer myself only you
Theres no escaping me my love
Surrender

(?can ya blame me!)

Breathe in and take my life in you
No longer myself only you
Theres no escaping me my love
Surrender
Surrender
Surrender!
Surrender

(You will surrender to me
There's no escaping from me
I know you want me to be
You must surrender...)

Evanesence's song "Missing" is haunting and deep: it is quite a sad love song. We all want to know that someone "misses us" I think. Here are the lyics From CD "Origin":

"Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll have woke up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out:
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
And wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something..."